{"id":696,"date":"2019-10-16T16:57:51","date_gmt":"2019-10-16T16:57:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/?p=696"},"modified":"2022-03-02T03:34:39","modified_gmt":"2022-03-02T03:34:39","slug":"here-i-am-ive-changed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/2019\/10\/16\/here-i-am-ive-changed\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Here I am; I\u2019ve changed\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; background_color=&#8221;rgba(244,244,244,0.97)&#8221; min_height=&#8221;1000px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;41px||2px|||&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;49px|||||&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-134px|auto||auto||&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;43px|||||&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.0.47&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;HUMAN RIGHTS&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.29.3&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Roboto||||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#e09900&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;19px&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; text_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; link_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; link_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; link_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_vertical_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_spread_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>HUMAN RIGHTS<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;PROFILE&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.29.3&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Roboto||||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; header_3_font=&#8221;Noto Serif||||||||&#8221; header_3_font_size=&#8221;26px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|||&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; text_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; link_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; link_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; link_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_vertical_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_spread_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosa<\/strong><br \/><strong>Graduate of the Diocese of Caloocan\u2019s Salubong program<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_post_title meta=&#8221;off&#8221; featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.29.3&#8243; title_font=&#8221;Noto Serif||||||||&#8221; title_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; title_font_size=&#8221;60px&#8221; title_line_height=&#8221;1.3em&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; title_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; title_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; title_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; meta_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; meta_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; meta_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_vertical_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_spread_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;3.29.3&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Roboto||||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243; header_3_font=&#8221;Noto Serif||||||||&#8221; header_3_font_size=&#8221;26px&#8221; z_index_tablet=&#8221;500&#8243; text_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; text_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; link_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; link_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; link_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ul_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; ol_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; quote_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_vertical_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221; box_shadow_blur_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; box_shadow_spread_tablet=&#8221;0px&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t her plan; she just wanted to get away from it all.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, Rosa* was so discreet about her drug use that no one but her children knew she had been taking it at all.<\/p>\n<p>The mother of three had started using illegal substances to ease the pain of marital woes after her husband left her.<\/p>\n<p>But a year in and Rosa knew she owed it to herself and to her family\u2014 she wanted to change.<\/p>\n<h3>\u00a0<\/h3>\n<h3><strong>Family woes<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Rosa had turned to illegal substances after her husband, encouraged by his sibling, started seeing another woman. \u00a0She had a turbulent relationship with his family who she felt, at that time, had \u201cbelittled\u201d her.<\/p>\n<p>Drugs were her way of coping and of dulling the pain her crumbling marriage had caused.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Parang lalo akong nagrerebelde, na bakit ginanito ako<\/em>?\u201d Rosa remembers thinking of her in-laws.<\/p>\n<p>[Translation: It was like I rebelled even more, I thought \u2018why are they doing this to me?\u2019]<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, she was spending money for food and had pawned their family\u2019s television to buy drugs. But instead of helping her forget, her new vice led her problems to pile up instead.<\/p>\n<p>While others gain more energy when under the influence, she became lazier and staved off work.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Wala naman, di mo naman nakakalimutan yung problema. Nandun pa rin<\/em>,\u201d Rosa says.<\/p>\n<p>[Translation: It didn\u2019t do anything. You don\u2019t forget your problems, they\u2019re still there.]<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Pathway to rehabilitation <\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>When the barangay started rounding up drug users, she knew it was time to surrender to authorities.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Naisip ko, yung mga anak ko, nagmamakaawa. Naisip ko parang walang nangyayari sa buhay ko sa paggamit ng droga<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Translation: I thought of my kids, who were begging me. I thought about how my life was going nowhere because of drugs.]<\/p>\n<p>Rosa voluntarily turned herself in, to the surprise of her neighbors and their barangay captain.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Wala silang kaalam alam na gumagamit ako. Lahat ng tao, walang alam. Kahit kapitan namin<\/em>,\u201d she recalls.<\/p>\n<p>[Translation: Noone knew I was a user. Noone knew a thing, not even our captain.]<\/p>\n<p>Rosa admits, she was scared at first, but their barangay captain\u2019s presence helped quell fears. Having her children accompany and support her during sessions also boosted her morale.<\/p>\n<p>She says, it wasn\u2019t easy juggling rehabilitation while providing for her family, but she promised her children she wouldn\u2019t touch the substance again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Nung umpisa, siyempre mahirap, tulad niyan\u2026 Ano ipapakain ko sa mga anak ko. Hirap na hirap ako<\/em>,\u201d she recalls. \u201c<em>Pero kinaya namin. Araw araw kami pumapasok para lang mapatunayan namin na eto na ginagawa ko \u2026 ito na yung pangako ko, hinding hindi ko babalikan tong ganitong bisyo<\/em>,\u201d Rosa adds.<\/p>\n<p>[Translation: At first, it was hard\u2026 What would I feed my children? It was so difficult for me\u2026 But we managed. We went to class every day just so we could prove that we were doing it\u2026 [So we could show] \u2018Here\u2019s my promise, I\u2019ll never go back to this vice again.\u2019]<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3><strong>A brighter future<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Now, Rosa and her husband have gotten back together. The two have been resolving their issues for the sake of their children.<\/p>\n<p>She also works as a \u201cbarangay tanod\u201d or neighborhood watchman to maintain order in their neighborhood.<\/p>\n<p>She steers clear from people and situations that could lead to her relapse, and is sometimes tapped by their captain to speak about how she was able to power through her addiction.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Handa kaming humarap sa mga tao, nagsasalita\u2026 Minsan maiiyak ka talaga kasi siyempre maalala mo yung mga nangyari\u2026 Nakikita nila, ito ako nagbago<\/em>,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>[Translation: We\u2019re ready to face people and talk\u2026 Sometimes it really makes you tear up because you remember everything that happened\u2026 They can see it. This is me; I\u2019ve changed.]<\/p>\n<p>* The interviewee\u2019s name has been changed to protect her privacy.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rosa &#8211; Graduate of the Diocese of Caloocan\u2019s Salubong program<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":664,"featured_media":1209,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-human-rights","category-impact-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/664"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=696"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/696\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1209"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideals.org.ph\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}